What Do Mathematicians Like To Put On Their Cars? (and Other Silly Puns/jokes.)

What do mathematicians like to put on their cars?

Spoiler

Speulers.

 

Did you hear about the

Spoiler: bad taste

constipated

mathematician?

Spoiler: Really Bad Punch Line

He worked it out with a pencil.

 

@themadhuman if I like and unlike that post enough does it feel like applause

 

This one is safe to tell children:
Why do melons have big weddings?

Spoiler: Uber Groaner

Because they cantaloupe...

 

I can do better:
Do you know how to catch a polar bear?

Spoiler: part I

First, you cut a hole in the ice and put a bunch of frozen peas all around the hole.

Spoiler: Part II-really bad-simulates dirty word

Then, when the polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.

 

Spoiler

 

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If you don't get this one, research the cardinality of a countably infinite set...

Spoiler

Aleph null bottles of beer on the wall, aleph null bottles of beer, take one down, pass it around, aleph null bottles of beer on the wall...

 

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Spoiler

Nothing, you can't cross a vector and a scalar.

 

Sounds like something you could find in the armoury...

 

when going to a party;
dont drink and derive!