It's only like 5 pizzas a day. Even if they're XL you can spread them around the Agency and only like 1 out of 5 people will even get a slice. It isn't really a big deal
You could just feed the pizzas to the remaining bearwolves. (We DO still have some of those left alive, right?) Or any of the other weird things we have around here.
Are... Are you still stuck down there, Tanton? How have you not found your way back yet? I'm pretty sure my double is down in the Archives somewhere, if you see someone who looks identical to me but behaves much differently, you could always ask her if she'd be willing to lead you back to central HQ.
I've been down there before, maybe I can try and help. Albeit, I spent most of that time being chased by a bearwolf.
@Operator Tanton, I'm sending my double to come find you and bring you back to centralized HQ. Don't let her convince you to do anything dumb.
on thpe silxth jday of christmas dylanamite gnave to me sixth bottels of beer five pziziaiaaas four dead labb techs three deadth rays two robot doves and la big fire ibn micro c
You know, Dylan's antics are actually quite amusing to observe when you're nowhere near the area effected. Maybe if he gets super drunk he'll get himself stuck somewhere and you won't have to worry about it until next Christmas.
Okay so. Big update. Dylan's drunk all the beer. He's intoxicated in his office. I'm keeping an eye on him. The one problem we had is that the pizza he so kindly got us was topped with chunks of the dead lab techs. We managed to resolve the problem, but Agent Felicity said she ate some so she might be ill. After that we decided that maybe Dylan was possessed or something. He's not acting himself. (Okay the fires and lasers I get, but he's been bringing us corpse pizza. That's not like him.) I did some investigating and found his entire filing cabinet filled with pebbles, and his desk drawer filled with straw. He also complained about his foot aching and, after wrestling with him for a bit, managed to take a look at it. Seems like it's growing. Just one. So I'm sitting here with your world's Dylan who now has one abnormally large foot and a load of pebbles.
I can actually imagine locking him into an elevator. Just cordon off one that's never used... Weld the doors shut... Wrap the thing in wrapping paper and put a big sign on it saying "Don't open until Christmas"... and then we forget about the elevator and promote dylanalike to dylanamite
Another update: After the doubles fought an unrelated fire below the Archives with @Gödel and @lunalure, we figured out Dylan is channeling some sort of pagan Christmas goddess who expects us to eat some sort of fish and gruel feast, or she'll slit open our stomachs and stuff us with pebbles and straw. Needless to say, I zip tied him to a chair in Micro C, where he is currently located. You can find him here if you're looking for him.
