I strongly suggest that Agents do not adhere to Dylan's advice. The bioagent I just released is highly reactive with ethanol, and the resultant effects are less than pleasant. Dylan, stop drinking at once.
If you hear something that sounds like popcorn, that means the bioagent is working, and the spiders are exploding. So, that's a good thing, I promise!
Agent in Go-o-go-Gödel signing, I've made it down to Micro C. That lab tech isn't looking so hot; he's collapsed on the bed gripping his calf. Funny, his leg is a beautiful shade of blue, I'm mean like beautiful, like you should totally frame a picture of it. I might cry, it's really pretty. My arm hurts real bad, why did I tie my belt around it? Anyways I think the bananas are going to my head, and I keep hearing this popping sound, can I have popcorn? HAHAHA. It's funny cause my arm has a lump, I think the lump juice is going to my head with the bananas. Bananas are radioactive, that cool, like martian cyborg warrior cool. Can you bring me a glass of milk¿
Agent Gödel made it down, he's not looking so hot. Luckily I'll have the serum ready in another half an hour or so, I think he should be OK until then but we're going to lower his body temperature in the meantime. Treble, how are you holding up?
Pretty good. I've stopped burning things because it looks like whatever this thing burns does it at the boiling point of at least steel. If this suit wasn't climate controlled I'd probably be cooking right now
Ok, you should be on the other side of it soon enough. Try not to let the spiders explode on you. And if you can catch Dylan before he runs off to try and shirk responsibility, that'd be appreciated. If you rough him up a little when you catch him I won't tell, between this and the bearwolves incident...
I'm pretty sure he'd spontaneously combust if he got anywhere near me at the moment, between the flamethrower and his BAC and everything else....
Damn. I just passed by a mirror that hadn't melted yet. Hadn't really thought about a costume for tonight, but it turns out I make a pretty good fireman from Bioshock Infinite.
I just saw what appeared to be a pretty intoxicated man stumble into a surface elevator. Intoxicated, or delirious from spider bit pain. Either way I shut down Elevator 57-AC. It's stuck between floors so whoever is in there can't get out.
Ok, update time. Agent Gödel is improving, he'll probably be good to go in another day or two. Luckily he didn't lose the arm, despite his crudely fashioned tourniquet. My lab tech didn't make it, but it's fine because I hadn't learned his name yet. Spiders should be mostly done exploding, bioagent should be dying off/dispersing, are parts of the building still on fire? I'm guessing Dylan is still stuck in that elevator, I'm tempted to leave him there. Anyone know if we can pipe in some Christmas music for his enjoyment? Overall this was a crappy way to spend Halloween, if you mess up Thansksgiving this badly I will make sure your body is never found, Dylan.
Luckily one of the newest recruits heard me from inside the elevator and I managed to convince them to go and winch the elevator so I could actually get out. Most of the west side of HQ seems to be recovering from the fire damage. There's a few flames here or there but I made sure the new agent extinguished them. He seems to be following my orders well. Maybe it was because of the unlimited access to HQ's ice-cream freezer that I promised them. I haven't seen any spiders around either, so it looks like whatever you guys did worked. Although I must say it was very irresponsible of you both to disperse bio-agents and flames across the whole of HQ! Who knows what damage you could've done?! Don't worry. I have plans for Christmas!
Hey, just wanted to sign in and give an update. Other than a cold from the ice bath Agent Middipper put me in I'm back up to shape. Just want to say thanks for saving my ass, and my arm; I thought I was gonna have to see bionics after this was over. I was also wondering if we can put Agent Dylanamite under a high security watch list during the holiday months. As much as I'd like to see the place on fire, and overrun with dangerous animals, for a third time, I think this is a necessary action.
And you people questioned my proposition to install microturrents everywhere. Just imagine how much easier this mess would have been to clean up. I don't care if the targeting AI gets a little glitchy sometimes, or is a little too fond of Skrillex, I can garuntee that any antipersonnel device installed in the base will never target me.
Well thought of looming death around every corner is a bit unnerving, but they didn't kill me last time. I would definitely work the bugs out first, we go through personnel like socks down here.
