Guys... I'm More Than A Little Lost Down Here. Need Help.

So, I'm new here, and this place is huge, in fact, judging by the floor layout and the dimensions of some rooms I think that some rooms shouldn't physically be able to exist. Anyways I had to go down to the archives to pick a document on fire curses, and ancient Hebrew, and after I came out of the archives, the hall way looked completely different. Confused I went back inside the archive room, thinking I came out the wrong door. There's only one. I look out the door again, and the hallway looks completely different...Again. Don't want to risk walking through the hallways, so I'm stuck at this archive terminal until I can find out what's going on. Help would be much appreciated, I can only survive off of stale vending machine Doritos for so long, and I'm all out of Cool Ranch.

 

Do you see anything near you that we could use to identify your location? Or is this all we're getting?

For future reference, you'll want to bring a big ball of twine with you as you move about the building to keep this sort of thing from happening, at least while you're still a new hire. Tying off periodically helps to keep track of where you are, even if 'certain agents' find it funny to go after the twine with scissors. Or lighters.

 

Thanks for the twine tip, I'll be sure to get one after I get out of here, as for noticeable landmarks, that's the problem, they're changing. When I walked in it was just a plain grey hallway with doors on both sides, linoleum floor, and a row of fluorescent light bulb going down the middle of the ceiling. Then when I walked out the first time, the opposite side of the hall way was replaced with a giant aquarium filled with tropical fish I've never seen before, oddly, a thick red carpet, and the only light was the blue light shining from the tank. After I poke my head out of the door the next time, it was a long dark hallway with a crudely cobbled floor, the walls looked like a tunnel carved in rock lit by torch light. Last time I checked the walls where replaced with Japanese rice paper sliding doors.

 

If you go to the centre of the Main Archive you'll see a large staircase leading up to another floor. You're not the only one to get lost in here. I've pitched up camp on the second floor. There's good wi-fi signal here. I've found some of "less-important" documents (specifically the ones signed by Agent MidDipper herself) and am burning them to keep warm.

 

I hate going to that part of the base.

 

Thanks for the directions to your camp, that fire was a godsend. Do they always blast the AC down here? Anyways I'd like to get back to my desk, should I crawl through the ventilation shaft on floor, or climb on of the bookshelves to access the ceiling hatch above the camp?

 

Dylan, please stop burning those. I mean, I have copies, but depending on the atmospheric conditions down there you may want to be worrying about carbon monoxide poisoning.

That being said, since I know you have(somehow) accessed some of the many copies of my VERY IMPORTANT RESEARCH... I've got a bit of a better idea of where you are down there. I'll work on narrowing it down and giving you more direction, once I get done with this very entertaining flash game that my sister emailed to me. Regardless of how many copies I have of my work(just, a whole bunch. so many copies. it doesn't even affect me if you burn those ones you're just making more work for someone else), it was pretty rude of you to use them as a fuel source without asking first.

 

Don't worry, you can take your time. I've realised I can have fun by scattering your research around and playing a game of "the floor is lava". It's even more fun when you set the floor on fire so there's an added risk of danger.

 

If the new kid wasn't down there I wouldn't even be telling you this, but:

I just double checked my map, there's a really good chance that setting the floor in fire where you are is going to cause enough structural damage to drop you down a level. The level below you isn't really my jurisdiction-- it's still technically in the archives, but it's more of a zoo than anything. I guess someone was doing some experimentation with genome splicing or some other such nonsense, trying to create hybridized animals... Long story short, don't set the floor on fire, because bearwolves.

 

Um
Okay so
Don't kill me for this but
The bearwolves may be loose.

 

Great. Just... Awesome. Have you considered a different career path Dylan? We can talk career counseling later. I think you'd do well as a rodeo clown.

There should be a big blue switch labeled 'emergency' mounted on pretty much every wall in that area. Go to one and throw it. It'll shut you in there but we can get you out later. And yes, I will make sure you get out, because the new kid is still down there. If it were just you, I'd probably leave you for a while to think about what you've done.

 

Okay right I think I'm safe for now.
To be fair, none of this was my fault at all. I just wanted to stress that.

 

I don't know why you would think either of those things. I stated very clearly that the switch would shut you in there-- the switch doesn't somehow shut OUT the bearwolves, too. You're stuck down there with the bearwolves until I come bail you out. For you own sake, you'd better hope you've still got the new kid in one piece.

And this was totally your fault. Don't try and shirk your responsibility. Again.

 

I haven't actually seen Agent Godel for a while. Last I heard he was attempting to climb into a ventilation shaft. I didn't want to tell him about the very unstable high-powered fans we use. Hopefully he didn't get caught in one... That could've ended in a bloodier mess than a bearwolf attack.

 

Why didn't you tell him? That was very irresponsible... Go find Godel and I'll think about MAYBE getting you out of there.

 

He's in the ventilation? Well, Godel, if you find a secret room with a shredded couch I'll know exactly where you are.

 

Oh this is just great. Now I'm going to have to put in overtime rounding up all our bearwolves. And just when we got that chupacabra back into containment, too.

 

I'm pretty sure Dylan locked himself in with all, or at least most, of the bearwolves. So you shouldn't have to track down too many of them.

Friendly reminder that this is all Dylan's fault. Agent Gödel still seems to be MIA, so we might be down a new agent too.

 

Just to be safe, I'm setting up our upgraded (fixed) AI turrents outside the exits and entrances to the Archives. They're sophisticated enough to tell human from... whatever the hell a bearwolf is. If it does look like it's targeting you just say something intelligible and it should back down.

 

Agent Gödel signing back in.
Well I did join the Watchmen for some adventure, but I'd never imagine I'd have this much so soon. It was crazy, I decided to crawl around the vents to try and find and exit. I crawled until I lost track of time, with no exit insight. Then things got worse I started to hear something lapping against the walls the vent, and things got colder. My hands suddenly felt wet, it was too dark to tell what was happening, then I realized the vent was completely flooded with water. I was somewhere around Subdivision 56. I didn't want to be anywhere near there. Turning around I realized that I had no idea how to get out of the vent system.
Panicked, I crawled as quickly as I could back the way I thought I had come. The twisting passages of the maze and my frantic pace I was moving at got me even more lost. I felt a suddenly lurch of my stomach, and a breeze blowing through my hair, and the feeling of weightlessness. Falling. I was falling down a dark chasm with no bottom.
I woke with a splitting headache, and my body ached. It cried out in protest as I stood up. The taste of iron touched my lips, I was bleeding. A sharp pain became noticeable above my left eye, and started to blind me. All thing considered I thought I was pretty luck to get out of that. Looking around, I was in a dark hallway, illuminated with emergency lighting every so often. Making my way down the hall, the ringing in my ear started to get progressively quieter. But I could make out an alarm going of. Then I could make out it was saying something.

"Containment breach. Exit level immediately"

I thought what could be leaking out on this level. Unfortunately what ever it was wasn't leaking, it was walking on all fours. Ahead of me I began to make out the figure of a large animal. A huge mass of fur crouched ready to spring, eyes glowing yellow, straight at me. I fingered the blood flowing from my forehead. Shit. The beast began to charge. Tearing down the halls I tried to focus to the red arrows on the exit signs guiding me to safety, trying to the pain in my limbs. A loud thud rings through the halls every time I make a sharp corner to try and evade it, it claws making a distinct scratching sound as it move across the concrete floor. Stairs, I don't know if I can make it up them. I take on them on skipping 3 step at time. Light at the top of them. I can just reach them. The labored breaths of the animal are close behind me. It feels hot against my back.
The booming sound of high caliber machine gun round echo through the hall as I reach the top of the stairs. I hit the deck, opening another gash on my forehead on the opposite side. Shell casing ring against the concrete like bells, and the hall is quite. Looking back the mangle corpse of a huge wolf lay behind me, turrets with smoking barrels lay dormant. I shuffle to the nearest, room, I don't care where it is, I don't care whats inside, I need to rest. I collapse on the floor, my eye slamming shut.
I woke up, and laughed. I laughed because I survived that. I laughed because I thought this was one hell of a way to start my career here. But mostly I laughed because I'm back in the archives... Again...

Sorry about being MIA. I will assist with operation Blind Angel to whatever capacity I can from this archive terminal. I just hope I can get out of here sometime soon. Till then Nacho Cheese Doritos will have to tithe me over.