I was working on a regular check-up on our tracking equipment and my wrench went missing. You know the wrench that is inhabited by a fire demon? That one. Any ideas where it is?
I'd suggest using spectral thermal goggles to track them down. You can take a pair from the firing range. Besides making it look like you are shooting underwater, they also can track down celestial/demonic entities that give off heat sources. That may be their main purpose, which may be why the archives keeps pestering me to give them back.
Have you checked Nikels lab i heard some rumors about a box and fire, maybe he needed a "firewrench" to get it open?
Wrenches are only useful for bashing things open. If you bash a box, it ceases to be a box and becomes an entirely difficult category of object and that type of change is not conducive to study. So no, I didn't use a wrench to get it open. The wrench I used to smash the box after escaping was an entirely plain, non-supernatural wrench.
Ahem, yes about that wrench... We might just have *accidentally* sent it back in time... On a completely unrelated note: does anybody know how EXACTLY the great fire of London started?
Goddammit. You can't go one week in this place without someone tearing extradimensonial holes in the middle of London, or sending back a flaming wrench and setting fire to London, or disseminating a variant of Blue Crush that makes your hair turn yellow in the middle of London, or airdropping fliers advertising a position in our agency in the middle of freaking London. We had to create an entire misinformation department overnight just to cover up that last screw up.
Have we ever seriously considered getting rid of London, to avoid these kinds of problems from arising?
No. ABSOLUTELY NOT. We've learned from experience that the only thing that kind of thinking accomplishes is another entry on the "Thing that almost destroyed London but didn't" list. Not only is London a danger magnet, it's a pretty damn durable danger magnet.
No I don't mean DESTROY London. We can just leave it where it is. Just remove all knowledge of it, from everywhere. Keep it isolated, remove it from maps and books and whatnot... It could work!