To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: IT Assistance Needed in Weapons Testing Range A-17 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Technical Department, Immediate assistance is requested to help deal with a rampant ballistics computer that has taken control of one of the new types of automated sentry guns equipped with a M249 light machine gun. Thankfully, safety protocols in place restrict the rotation of the turret, so it cannot fire at us. Our technician, however, has apparently passed out over the stress of the situation. That, or the blaring dub-step that the AI has somehow managed to play over the speakers at max capacity. (As a side note, please remind your technicians that ear plugs are to we worn at ALL times in a live firing range). Anyways, the AI has pretty much just resorted to drawing things with bullets on the far wall, and ever since it drew a pretty good picture of me I haven't had the heart to cut off it's supply of bullets. So anyways, we'll probably need to contain the AI to study. I'd suggest sooner rather than later as there are many, many more annoying genres of music that this AI could discover. I'd really rather not be stuck here listening to something like Justin Bieber for the next few hours. Signed, Agent Treble - Armory Quartermaster
You're request has been taken in and given to IT Agent JantsoP. Due to our SLA, you will get a response within 48 hours.
Let's hope it doesn't find the files from the previous Agency karaoke evening. I'd rather not have to put up with Agent Grisha and his team doing a painful rendition of Take That again.
For once this isn't my fault, blame the rogue AI. If it'll make you fell better, you could go to the range and smash the turret up yourself, although that won't stop the AI.
To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: RE: IT Assistance Needed in Weapons Testing Range A-17 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hi Agent Treble, I was able to secure to rogue AI and deliver it to our underground IT bunker for futher testing. Thank you for reporting the issue. JantsoP Division 66 IT Help-Desk
To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: RE: IT Assistance Needed in Weapons Testing Range A-17 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Oh THANK GOD. My lunch break was almost over too. Treble Armory Quartermaster
I have a registered email from an IT department account, so as far as I am concerned my hands are clean. Even if the sounds of heavy dub-step can be faintly heard 2 floors above, it is no longer my problem.
The turret did start talking like the turrets from Portal a few days ago. I'm a bit confused as to why.
